Photography Awesomesauce » Photography Business Tools

Masthead header
Photography Awesomesauce bio picture
  • Join 1,714 other subscribers

My Print Pricing Journey

I’m a shoot and share photographer. My favorite part of the job is photographing and I want to share my digital photos with my clients. I’ve discussed it quite often on this blog. However, at the same time I want to find a balance to offer professional print options to my clients.

I’m a big fan of doing a gallery review with my clients after their photo session or wedding and have always used this as an opportunity to make print sales, offer discounts and ensure that my clients have great archival memories of their photos after all is said and done. I do want their photos to last both online and offline. I want my clients to have their digital files stored for a lifetime online, which is why I use PASS, but I also want them to walk away with heirlooms to pass down to their family, like an album.

So, I wanted to tell you guys a story about something I’ve learned lately. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve come in business – I’m always learning and trying new techniques to try to be better at this job. When I learn something new and find out what’s working for me I like to share it here with you. Of course, my techniques are not always right for everyone, but they work for me and that’s why I share them.

The story goes that I was talking to a photographer friend of mine over the phone. We were talking about how the demand in the industry is getting higher for digital photos and we want to be able to provide that, but how we also believe they need to have something hanging on the wall. Somehow pricing products came up and it just dawned on both of us how much the photography industry marks up print products. We mark up our products more than most any industry in the world. I was telling my friend that for some reason the last year I’ve noticed my print sales decreasing and I couldn’t figure out why. I was still selling, and I wanted to provide the digital files, but I wanted to find a balance to do so.

That lead me to last December where I started thinking about how we, as photographers, not only have to compete against each other in this industry, but how our print prices now have to compete against the likes of Walmart now too. I wanted to check out some of these crappy print options for myself and compare them to some of the professional labs I’d been using and see if I could use that as a marketing tool. I had done the same thing years ago, but with how fast technology grows I figured it was about time to check it out again.

I have to tell you that Costco’s print lab beat out several of the professional labs. A lot of the other labs like Walmart, Shutterfly, etc. (I tried them all) didn’t look great and had color problems, but man Costco caught me off guard. Of course I doubt that Costco uses the same sprays and tools that a professional lab does, but it makes for some legit competition.

The big question was, how can I compete against the likes of Walmart’s prices, still sell high quality prints, and meet the demand by my clients for digital files? So, I’ve been sitting on this idea for several months, researching, thinking, and planning.

I realized that we as an industry don’t have any set standards for professional print prices. They are all over the place. When I first priced my products I did so by looking at what other photographers were pricing for theirs. I have learned that I may be over valuing what I thought my prints were truly worth.

That led me to experiment. I wondered what it would be like to drop my print prices a little bit to compete with the likes of Walmart, but still make sales and a small profit off of what I sell. So the last several months I cut my prices on my prints a lot. I was surprised because I worried that no people would still print elsewhere or that I was devaluing my own work. However, my print sales have increased hugely. My clients are loving the new prices and the ability to get professional quality prints, and products at affordable prices.

I guess I didn’t expect it to work well, but I was willing to try it out. I’m making more off my print sales then I ever have before. I think my clients are happier. I’m happier too. This is an experiment I’m going to continue throughout this year to see where it leads me as wedding season begins.

I just wanted to share this story, and my thoughts with you. I think one of the most important things we can do as a business owner is stay current with what is popular with our clients and find a way to do what works for them in a way that we can also still benefit and be happy. Like I said, there are so many methods that work for different people in different ways. Mine isn’t always the right path for everyone, but I’m here to share and help if I can.

Awesomesauce Store & Carrie Swails Photography

April 3, 2013 - 8:11 am

Katie - Hi, Carrie – thanks for all your great advice! I just have one question – in order for prints not be a big part of your profit margin, do you have a much higher shooting fee? That’s the only solution I can figure out, as right now my shooting fee (for portraits) is $250, and prints are ala carte. Therefore, if I didn’t charge a lot for prints, I wouldn’t be making that much. So the only solution I can figure out is to charge a higher shooting fee, and less for prints… Or am I missing something?

April 3, 2013 - 8:14 am

Katie - Would you be willing to share an example of what your print prices were before, and what you dropped them to? I too struggle with print pricing, and feel that the extremely high prices keep clients from buying as much as they would like.

April 3, 2013 - 9:36 am

Carrie - My fees are a little higher than average when it comes to portraits, but they’re priced well for my area. Prints are becoming a big part of my profit margin. Because they’re cheaper, I’m selling more. :)

April 3, 2013 - 9:37 am

Carrie - I was selling an 8×10 before for $20 and now I’m selling it for $6. :)

April 3, 2013 - 9:53 am

Carol Lea - What a great article – so much truth! It’s so hard to balance the bottom line on the spreadsheet with the decline in business due to the ever changing “dog eat dog” industry. Do I want to compete against the “Wal Mart” photographers who just do this for fun and don’t care if they really make any money, or do I want to maintain a boutique mentality & watch my business suffer because the general public can’t afford me . . . ugh!

April 3, 2013 - 11:57 am

Heather - I totally agree with everything you wrote here! I’ve gone up and down a lot over the last couple years trying to find that print price balance. Oh, and the Costco thing is crazy, am I right? I learned that trick from an old photography teacher who didn’t want us poor College students to go broke printing our images. :) He also old us not to be afraid to ask for a reprint if the quality wasn’t up to par (he said he did it all the time).

April 3, 2013 - 1:28 pm

Melissa DeMers - This is great Carrie, you’ve really got me thinking! I think I’ve talked to you enough for you to know I struggle with pricing. ALOT. Ha ha. It’s tough in my area to compete w/other ‘togs but this is something to really consider. Also I did the print comparison (to try to prove to my hubby actually that MY lab was above all and best), totally back fired. If you do the Walmart online prints (where they mail them to you, NOT the 1 hr deal), oh my, those are almost comparable to my lab actually…who would’ve thought??? :)

April 3, 2013 - 3:14 pm

Robert Walker - Do you shoot Portrait Photos in RAW format?
From what feedback I have received from other experienced Photographers, RAW is the best and only way in Digital Photography.
Although, I have NO experience working in any post digital processing, such as Photoshop or Lightroom, Etc., so would RAW format be beneficial in my circumstance?
I would like your professional opinion and any positive suggestions you might have to improve my Photography, so I may create stunning Portraits for my future clients.

Thank you,
Respectfully,
Robert Walker

April 3, 2013 - 3:19 pm

Kerri - I am happy to see this post. I am a flat rate studio for portraits and I include the digital files. So many people leave without purchasing prints and I get it, it’s cheaper elsewhere, but like you mentioned, so is the quality. Which scares me because those prints will be the ones that their friends and family see and they might think…ick…not using that photographer! Offering them cheaper, will entice clients to purchase and hang a good quality image on their wall…and maybe send referrals my way. Thank you Carrie!

April 3, 2013 - 3:26 pm

Debi Buck - Great article! I think print pricing is a struggle for most of us. Thanks for posting this.

April 3, 2013 - 4:24 pm

Carrie - Hi Robert! Yep, I shoot portraits in RAW and everything in RAW actually. I find it’s easier to edit later if I mess up. I’m not perfect, so I definitely mess up sometimes. If you want to shoot RAW you’ll definitely want to invest in good post processing, like Lightroom.

April 3, 2013 - 4:25 pm

Carrie - What lab do you use? My Walmart ones were awful!

April 4, 2013 - 12:42 am

Candace Biggerstaff - I like your website

April 4, 2013 - 5:47 am

Find - Perfect timing for this post! Thank you!!

April 4, 2013 - 11:09 am

Julia N - I honestly cannot fathom making a good profit from a session with a $6 8×10… isn’t that cheaper than you get prints even at Sears? My 8x10s cost me like $4 or $5 once retouching is done. It wouldn’t be worth my time at all! I’m a little baffled how you make this profitable?

April 4, 2013 - 11:26 am

Carrie - My prints cost me about $3 wholesale, so selling them for $6 is a 50% markup. By selling them cheaper people buy more rather than selling them very expensive and people buying less. Session fees for me include the digital photos and are priced to cover the cost of my expenses and time so I make a profit off my sessions and any profit from selling prints is just extras. :)

April 8, 2013 - 7:07 am

Stephanie - Our clients are not paying for the piece of paper that only cost $3. They are paying for out artistry, our time and the talent that went into creating it. Even at $20, you were selling yourself short.

April 8, 2013 - 7:34 am

Jenny - Carrie – a lot more than the cost of the print goes into COGS. There is no way an 8×10 cost any photographer $3. It’s not a 50% mark up at all. I need to NET at least $800 per client (that’s after ALL of my costs are paid for for). I cannot imagine ever getting there with a $6 8×10. Heck, or even a $20 8×10. My 8x10s are $100 and that does not mean I am making $$$$$ on them..

April 8, 2013 - 8:32 am

Carrie - It’s not selling yourself short if you are charging upfront. My service costs cover not only my expenses, but bring me in enough profit to live full time off of photography and be the primary breadwinner. :) Like I said, my pricing strategies are not always for everyone. Everyone prices differently. This is the way that I do it and it works for me. I’m one of the highest priced photographers in my area and have built a full time business this way.

April 8, 2013 - 8:34 am

Carrie - I set up my business so the costs of owning it are covered upfront with the fees my clients pay for my service. The fee they pay covers all business expenses as well as brings in enough profit to live off of. Instead of bringing in money and profit off selling prints I’m making profit upfront and any profit off print sales is just extra. Everyone’s pricing scheme is different – this is just mine and I’m not saying my way is the right way for everyone, but it works for both my clients and I.

April 8, 2013 - 10:17 am

Katy - I think you came up with a great strategy Carrie. When you are able to sell a high volume of any good you can sell it at a smaller margin and make a larger profit. Its a strategy in many retail environments. It sounds like you found the perfect margin and are making a larger profit than ever before. Congrats! Also, I would never in this lifetime pay $100 dollars for an 8×10 photo. That’s outrageous. At that margin, you must be selling hardly any prints, which is why you have to mark them up so much.

April 13, 2013 - 9:08 pm

Robin Clements - Where is a good place to order proofing books?
thanks for any help

April 13, 2013 - 10:49 pm

Carrie - Hi Robin,

I think many different professional print labs have proof book options. My favorite lab is ProDPI and WHCC is great as well. However I have never utilized proof books myself and therefore don’t really have a place to recommend.

April 14, 2013 - 10:33 am

Angelina Schwarz - :0 I am going to go ahead and say that this won’t work for me. I started out low $7 for an 8×10 and I made zero profit when I factored my time and costs in. I had to increase my pricing in order to make it worth my while. I now stay competitive in my area, but without deeply undercutting other pros or being considered a “cheap” photographer. I also only make digital files available with a package purchase or wedding (which include albums and prints). In this way, my clients receive professional prints that I have quality control over, while I can still charge a reasonable fee for professional prints. There is no profit in a six dollar print. Not unless you make it up in other ways like package deals, albums or increased session fees. For six dollars it wouldn’t be worth my time and effort to bother with prints.

April 14, 2013 - 6:41 pm

Elizabeth Hope - This was a great blog for me to read! I feel passionately that photography should be affordable, and that while my time and talent should be compensated for, prints will only be purchased if they are reasonable. I don’t want to be a photographer for just the rich, but for everyone! I’ve priced my portrait photography to be VERY competitive with my local labs, pennies difference, I still make a profit, and my clients get high quality work, I can’t imagine a better situation! :)

April 18, 2013 - 4:35 pm

Ashley Sue Bullers (@AshleySue) - I love this and concur 100%, Carrie. I have always said that many photographers make a sick, sick markup on prints. If you are charging properly in this digital age for your time and work with the session fee, then having a reasonable price for your prints is not any kind of issue or loss. I am glad to hear someone else acknowledge success with this method.

PS. Costco’s vary from store to store. And I can say that I have ordered books and various size prints from ours, and the colors were desaturated, the details were incredibly soft, and largely the photos came out greyish and slightly too dark. Just a caution before blanketing them all as a quality choice for clients!

Thank you!

This Week at Photography Awesomesauce

1. Lightroom Basics Class – for beginners and those new to using Lightroom >here< The class is live online Wednesday night and the fee is $15. If you can’t make it live, the class is recorded so you can watch it later.

2. Posing Class – This class is next Wednesday (the 10th), live online and is also recorded. This class we’re going to go over basic posing tips for couples, individuals, families, and weddings. >here<

3. Wedding Photography Workshop – This is Week 2 of the wedding photography workshop. The workshop is recorded so you’re welcome to join in late – you can still watch last week’s episode. After this week I will be taking no more registrations since I’d like everyone to keep up with us! Read more >here<

4. Off Camera Flash Workshop – This is not something I’ll be offering, but if you are a frequent traveler to the Denver area this workshop is going to be hosted at my studio so I’ll be there. Keith Powell is an amazing photographer and he’s doing this introductory workshop at a SWEET price of $125 per person! I was able to meet him recently at the United photography conference out in Santa Barbara. Check out more >here<

5. The last bit of news is this week is our last week for the Photography Awesomesauce Winter Photo Challenge. We’ve been challenging ourselves to create one new photo each week for a theme to keep everyone practicing and working in the Winter this year. Many of you guys have asked me to extend the photo challenge all year, but it’s very important to me to dedicate any extra time I have to my own wedding and portrait clients now that we are starting up the busy season. The winter photo challenge is something that will likely happen every winter. The goal of the challenge was for us all to take photos every week and have something to post, share and blog about to our fans so we wouldn’t lose momentum even if we had fewer clients.

6. Photography Awesomesauce Facebook Group – I’ve started a support group for our community on Facebook >here< This group is for asking questions, sharing photos, and finding a supportive community! We’d love to have you!

7. Finally, I have some exciting things coming your way this week! I can’t wait to share them with everyone. This Thursday, April 4th, will mark Photography Awesomsauce’s 1 year anniversary!

One Last Thing about PASS…

Because I know that when blog posts go live they all get emailed to all of you who subscribe the post you all read this morning did not include a way for you to sign up with PASS. Low and behold I sent the link to the blog post to one of the PASS support studs and they hooked all of the Photography Awesomesauce fans with a way to sign up for PASS! I’m posting this little blog post reminder (not my usual style) because I wanted it to go out in all your emails so you wouldn’t miss out on an opportunity to sign up for PASS.

I went and edited in a sign-up link in the previous post about PASS… So you can check it out all over again >PASS Blog Post<

Send those PASS dudes some thanks!

April 1, 2013 - 6:27 pm

Emily - OH MY GOODNESS!! THIS SERIOUSLY MADE MY NIGHT!! Thank you soooo much for this!! Ahhhhh!! :D

April 1, 2013 - 8:44 pm

Lesli Higgins - I am beyond bummed! I went to try it and it said that the code couldn’t be used anymore :( Seriously so sad :’(

April 1, 2013 - 9:00 pm

Lesli Higgins - Disreguard my last comment :) I figured it out! I am SOOO excited about this. Thank you for being awesome (no pun intended ;) )

PASS – The New Way to Share Photos

If you’re at all into the photography industry, then you’ve probably been hearing about PASS. http://pass.us People have been talking about them on Facebook, Twitter, and they’re all the rage. I’ve been getting hundreds of emails from you guys asking me for an invite to use their software, but the problem is – I don’t have any left, each user was given 3 invites. Some of you guys have even emailed to ask me for invites and ask about what exactly the software is, what it does, and how it works. So this post is going to be the who, what, where, when and why of PASS.
*Later Edit* I just scored PASS invites for everyone who reads this blog!!! The link is in the post below – so go on read.:D

 

What is PASS?

PASS is a company that is owned and operated by the same studs who run http://showitfast.com. I’ve talked several times about what Showit is and why I use it. Showit is website software to help photographers create awesome unique websites. PASS is their software to create online galleries for your clients.

PASS is part of the “shoot & share” mentality, so if that’s not how you like to run your business than this post might not be for you, and that’s okay. PASS’s online gallery system is all about downloads and getting rid of that CD and using something far more sophisticated in its place. CDs and DVDs are about to become a thing of the past now that computers are no longer being made with a CD/DVD drive. Everyone is streaming video, tv, and music content online, so there’s no point in having a disc anymore. That’s what PASS is all about, a place that displays your photos in an amazing and unique way and makes it easy for your client to store their photos and download them all at once in one easy button.

 

PASS Pricing

This is the part that confuses a lot of photographers new to PASS. The pricing. Rather than pay monthly, quarterly, annually or one big flat fee PASS charges per gallery, which is usually referred to as an “event.” To see how PASS explains their pricing go here >> http://pass.us/#/free-upgraded/

PASS has two different options for price, one is free and one is $29 per gallery. The free option allows individual photo downloads and can only be hosted for 30 days. The $29 upgraded gallery allows you to turn downloads on and off, hosts the gallery for 1 year, and allows your clients to download all the photos at once instead of individually. Beyond those things, the upgraded $29 version also stores your photos for 10 years. Consider them ‘cryogenically frozen.’ After the 1 year is up they get archived and the best part is that you or your clients can access them later if something ever happened to you or them.

Now, I know the price seems steep. Believe me in the old version of PASS I couldn’t justify $29 per gallery for what they had to offer. I’ll admit that I wasn’t very impressed. They’ve spent the last several months (probably more) completely rebuilding their software from the ground up. It is nothing like what it was before. Before it was only a gallery with downloads and your clients had to individually download each photo. Can you imagine passing a wedding gallery to your clients and they download thousands of photos one at a time? Yuck. I have to say the old PASS didn’t have much to offer to me, but I am one-thousand percent happier with the new version and this article will definitely dive into why that $29 is worth every penny.

 

PASS Invites & How to Sign Up

Since PASS is releasing their new software version they’ve been working up a clever marketing scheme and not allowing just anyone to go sign up for their new software – you  must be invited. Kind of like how gmail first was years and years ago. Everyone who uses Showit for their website and/or is a current PASS user can access the new software. Every user is given 3 invites to send to their friends.

As I said before, I’ve received hundreds and hundreds of emails asking me for PASS invites. Mine are gone. But guess what? Since posting this blog this morning I’ve managed to score a way for you to sign up! All you have to do is go here >http://passpromo.com/awesomesauce<

 

PASS Marketing Features

Okay so I wanted to talk about the reason that $29 gallery upgrade is worth every penny.

It’s all about how we share photos in the digital age. You know how you’re having dinner with your BFF who you haven’t seen in a few weeks. You’re sitting there chatting over wine. Maybe your kids are crawling all over you and you’re really having apple juice in a Chuck-E-Cheese place, but you get the idea. You’re talking about all the fun things that have happened in the last couple weeks and you want to show your friend a photo, so you take out your phone and pull up the photo on Facebook or in one of your apps and pass your phone to your friend to look at. This is the way people share photos now. No more whipping your wallet out of your back pocket, guys, and letting a row of wallet sized photos of your kids and dogs photographed at Sears unravel down to the floor.

With that in mind, PASS seems to be the ideal solution so when your clients are sitting there sharing photos of their wedding, new baby, family photos, or Spot the dog they take their phone out and what do they do? They go right to the PASS gallery installed on their phone, which looks all cool and professional. Your client’s friend is impressed and wants to know who the photographer is and BOOM – referrals. That $29 per gallery, sure it has some cool features, but really you are paying to make your clients into walking, talking billboards for your business.

I have to say that I’ve been able to share PASS galleries with several clients this past month and they LOVE it. They love they can have their photos as an app right on their phone. I’ve already received referrals from my clients talking and sharing about it.

 

What else is in store for PASS?

PASS will be adding auto-fulfilled orders through WHCC’s professional print lab this spring into their software – super awesome. Your clients can download, share, order, and market for you all in one place.

Right now the new version of PASS is still in its beta/testing stage. Although it works there are still a few features they are adding in. I can’t wait! The awesome thing about being able to use it is the customer service behind the program. People are suggesting ideas to be added into the new PASS and the company is doing it.

 

How does PASS Look and Work?

Each image below has a caption explaining what it’s about and how things work. These are all samples of my own photos and galleries.

The gorgeous new layout of PASS. Rather than the look of a traditional gallery this has a look similar to Pinterest. I think it’s very visually appealing and really shows off your photos in a totally new way.

 

The view when you pull up an individual photo. Keep an eye on the menu off to the right. When you press the plus sign several options for sharing the photo will come up.

The view when the menu is open on the right. Your clients can share straight to Facebook or Pinterest, download and more. PASS also builds your copyright into the metadata of each image so every time it is shared, you get credit.

 

Another view of the gorgeous style. The little black box on the top left with three lines is the other menu with options to download all the photos and see other collections within one gallery. When you click on that button you can see this menu. Even though you’re paying $29 for one gallery, that gallery can have multiple collections within it so if you have repeat clients you don’t need to purchase a new gallery.

 

I like to keep all my black and white images within their own collection in my galleries. When I put them all in one collection the black and white images line up with their color counterparts and that sometimes makes the “Pinterest” style look a lot more traditional.

 

With PASS, as soon as you’ve uploaded your photos they are ready to share. PASS will give you a direct link to your galleries online. They can be accessed on any mobile device easily. When your clients type in the URL this is what shows up, the same style gallery and a little notice to help them create their photos as an “app” on their phone. It basically creates a URL shortcut they can access straight from their phone.

 

Once your clients download their photos as an app, this is what it looks like. Again, this can be done on any mobile smartphone or device – not just Apple products.

 

Galleries all look the same and have the same options from your phone or mobile device.

 

Your clients will have the same options to view all the collections within one gallery and download and share them.

 

They can share, download and order prints right from their phone. Pretty sweet.

 

The share menu on a mobile phone.

 

For mobile options, it’s still so awesome that photos have that same gorgeous look to them that stands out.

 

Carrie Swails Photography & Awesomesauce Store

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 1, 2013 - 9:23 am

Samantha D - I guess I’ll have to wait for the invite…but in the meantime I’m wondering. You can purchase prints through PASS. Is the photographer getting paid for those prints? Do you know how all of that works?

Thanks!

April 1, 2013 - 9:25 am

Carrie - Since they are still working on the prints with WHCC I don’t know much other than you’ll still be able to get paid for those prints.

April 1, 2013 - 5:12 pm

sandra ace - great article – no more CD’s! :-)

April 1, 2013 - 5:23 pm

Holly - You rock Carrie!! I have been dieing to get an invite and I had faith that you would pull through for everyone!!

April 1, 2013 - 5:44 pm

Heather - Wow! I’m interested to see what happens with the printing options. I like Smugmug because I pay a flat monthly rate and can set my own print prices and choose my lab, but it’s nowhere near as visually appealing, the download options are somewhat limited and the sharing/social network options are very limited. If the print options with PASS are as good as Smugmug, I might have to make the switch! (I am so in love with that Pinterest-looking gallery style!)

April 1, 2013 - 8:36 pm

April Bennett - I love PASS, but I wish for the money that the app was a real app, and not just a link to the gallery. I am in a rural area where coverage gets spotty, and a link just will not work the same as a full downloaded app. Also, the sharing of the “link app” is not as easy as it is with a real app. So, I am still going to use Stickyalbums for the app function.

Everything else about PASS I love so far. Gosh, those galleries are gorgeous! And I love the tracking ability, too.

April 1, 2013 - 10:49 pm

Lina - Can this be connected to a pro photo blogsite?

April 2, 2013 - 1:54 am

Carrie - Lina, I suppose you can connect it anyway you want, the pass gallery displays as a link so you could embed it anywhere or link to it however you want. :)

April 2, 2013 - 4:21 pm

Kasandra Mathieson - Carrie….this looks amazing, thanks for explaining it! I’ll keep looking. Do you have to print with PASS or can you print with someone else?

April 2, 2013 - 4:32 pm

Carrie - You can definitely print with someone else if you want, but that would involve taking orders differently from clients. I’ll be printing through PASS because it’ll be so simple and easy.

April 3, 2013 - 5:40 am

Blink Of An Eye Wedding Photographer - This looks great. Definitely going to check out pass as an alternative for creating client galleries.

April 3, 2013 - 5:43 am

Blink Of An Eye Wedding Photographer - Just visited the site and noticed that it is only available by invite. Any chance you could send an invite? Thanks

April 3, 2013 - 9:35 am

Carrie - Just make sure you sign up under the “sign up” section of this blog post. There’s a link http://passpromo.com/awesomesauce
All you have to do is click “need account” and sign up. :)

Living Authentically

By Jenna Clark

>Follow Jenna on Facebook<
>Read more of her personal stories on her blog<
>Check out her website<

While I careened at a full gallop across a lush field on my pony, I screamed my head off, knowing that the end of this situation would end in pain. This was supposed to be an easy ride, because I had been bucked off the day before and Charlie was supposed to be a breeze. But as Charlie went faster and faster, with me clutching his mane in fear, I realized this was going to end badly. Sure enough, he came up on a fence that he realized he didn’t want to jump, so he spun to the right.

I flew to the left.

I landed on a cement road along the barbed wire fence, slamming my head so hard my helmet had shattered in the back. If I hadn’t been wearing that helmet, I’d be dead right now or vegetable in a hospital.

This is how I lived my life,: quickly, fearful and usually, I hurt myself. I always got back on the horse, but I kept the same mindset, the same fearful attitude. Eventually, the fear became so intense that in January this year, I dreaded riding. Every Wednesday, I would get a pit in my stomach, churning fear settling into my gut.  Finally, my best friend and riding instructor yelled at me, after I couldn’t even get our smallest pony into a canter, because I was terrified I’d fall off.

“Jenna, you can’t be afraid of falling off. You’re going to fall off. It’s going to hurt. But you should love riding enough that you do it anyway, regardless of risk. Either you make this canter happen or stop riding.” 

She’s my best friend for a reason. I swallowed my fear and damnit, I made that tiny pony canter. I shattered through months of built up fear, through sheer determination and frankly, I didn’t want to feel or look like a damn pansy. After I got off , I contemplated what this moment in time meant for me. I realized that this is what 2013 was going to present to me, whether I wanted it to or not. 2013 has been one of the hardest years ever, throwing curveball after curveball. I had a boyfriend dump me, I got laryngitis on the weekend I had a three day expo and a wedding, I started doing school full time with my business full time and I’m in debt up to my eyeballs. Yet, I knew that living in fear of the unknown was not how I wanted to function anymore.

I wanted to be honest. With everyone. About everything. I wanted to go balls to the wall, tell you about me and risk judgment by anonymous strangers. See, horses weren’t the only thing I was terrified about, it was/is people in general. I grew up abused, socially awkward and too weird for others to tolerate. As a result, I turned into an outwardly happy adult who told you nothing, nadda, zilch, about myself. I realized that this is probably why I have so few good friends, because I just don’t want to be hurt over and over again. Then I realized that I’m not alone. I’m not that damn special in this world, so if I felt isolated and afraid of the world, others probably did too.

So at the beginning of March, I wrote a blog about myself, where I told the whole world that my father had abused me as a child and that he was in prison. I told them I’ve been in jail, even if it was for the most ridiculous reason. And I was frightened out of my  mind. Terror settled in my stomach for two days after I posted that blog, the urge to just take it down so unbelievably strong. But I feel I have too much to offer, too much compassion to share, to be another one of those photographers who shows you nothing but their highlight reel of butterflies and rainbows.

You know what happened after that blog? Nothing. Nobody came to me and said, “oh my word, thank you Jenna for telling the world you’ve been abused. I was raped too and you’ve given me the hope I’ll be a millionaire one day and perhaps have a circus of dancing dogs.” On the other end, no one noticeably judged me for it either, although I’m sure it happened in closed chat rooms and texts. And that’s okay because that wasn’t the point. Living authentically has nothing to do with notoriety. Living authentically is alllllll about you, baby. Let me tell you the personal outcome of telling the world I had been raped.

I am happy.

It’s simple: if you open up to the world for yourself and with no ulterior motives, you will become happy. A switch had flipped for me. Suddenly, I dealt with stress better, I no longer feel like I need a man to make me happy and I have even stopped dating for a while, when before, I went on two a week.  I go out more, I reach out to people more frequently and hell, I relax more often. I had been heavily drinking but suddenly I didn’t feel the need to have a drink every single day.

I think when I decided to say, “Screw you, I’m sharing myself, whether you like me or not!!!!!” I think I realized I can be comfortable with who I am. Haters gonna hate, might as well give them a juicy topic to complain about!

My weirdness is still here in all of its glory, but I smile bigger when I dance in a grocery store. My dog and I have more educated conversations (just kidding, he isn’t educated). I’m not terrified if someone judges me for being raped, for going to jail, for having a GED or for being a freakin WEIRDO. But if sharing myself with people helps even just one person take the leap into living authentically, then awesome. I want to help people, to help this world become a better place, because you deserve more than surface Facebook updates and “what’s up” texts.

I know I’m not special. My story is far from original. So if I can do it without repercussion, you can too. You won’t lose as much as you think. Just try it this week. Write one blog about you, for you. Don’t think about who will read it, because remember, that isn’t the point.

By the way, I ride every Wednesday with a smile now. I have no fear of falling anymore.

March 27, 2013 - 12:10 pm

Katherine Wooton - Thank you!

March 27, 2013 - 12:55 pm

Jessica Norman - Thank you for this!

March 27, 2013 - 9:48 pm

Angela Newton Roy - Way to be brave, Jenna! Kuddo’s to you!!!

April 1, 2013 - 10:22 am

Donna - Jenna, you are not alone in your life hardships. There are so many of us quietly out here. I’m so sorry you were abused. There is no excuse for that. You had NOTHING to do with such evil.

I don’t know you, but from your picture I see a happy, beautiful, shining girl that is stronger than she thinks. Good for you for posting, for getting rid of your demons, for grabbing the world with both hands and doing what it takes.

April 1, 2013 - 10:25 am

Donna - PS – Don’t put yourself down with negative labels like “my wierdness”. Change the dialogue. You are unique. You are original. The world gives us enough negative. It’s up to us to make a positive inner dialogue.